


The Look of Love

by fififolle



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Love at First Sight, M/M, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 17:26:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fififolle/pseuds/fififolle
Summary: Carson discovers that Evan Lorne is not the same after he was captured by the Genii.





	The Look of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smaragdbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/gifts).



> Thank you to eriah211 for the swift beta! Any mistakes are my own. For smaragdbird, I hope you enjoy!

I'm not a cruel man. I'm a doctor, for goodness sake. A good one at that. And the last thing I wanted to do was cause Major Lorne any pain. I just know that sometimes it is better to confront your demons.

How was I to know that Major Lorne would fall in love with his?

Still, I achieved my goal, as the Major stopped having those moments of uncertainty (the man could never be accused of having panic attacks). And Ladon Radim seems quite happy these days as well.

Let me tell you how it all came about...

~

“Dr Beckett?” It was David Parrish, the botanist on Lorne's team. Not a regular visitor to the Infirmary.

“Call me Carson, please, Dr Parrish. What can I do for you?” 

“Do you have a minute? I'd like some advice.”

“Of course.” I gestured to my office, and we took ourselves away from the bustle of the beds and nurses.

Parrish and I sat beside each other, and I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

“It's about Evan... Major Lorne.” Parrish rubbed his hands together nervously.

I leaned closer and gave him some encouraging words, but my head was spinning with the anxiety of possible problems. “It's all right. Tell me what's worrying you.” 

He leaned away, suddenly unsure. “I'm not saying he's unfit for duty or anything, far from it, I mean, Evan... Major Lorne, is a brilliant team leader, I just...” His brows knitted. “I'm worried about him.”

“You'll have to give me more than that, son.”

Parrish took a deep breath. “Since he was taken by the Genii, he's been quiet. That's all. It's just not _like_ him. I mean, we've all been captured before, right? Par for the course in the Pegasus. But this is different. Now, when we're off world, he's as careful as he always was, but every now and again, he just stares at nothing. It's like he's _remembering._ And I don't know what to do.”

It was concerning, but it didn't seem like a lot to work with. “Does he talk about being captured?”

Parrish nodded. “It's my fault. After they brought back those charred bodies...” His face screwed up and he shuddered “...I think I was more traumatized than he was. He reassures me that he's alive. It helps when we're on missions. He's a good team leader. A good friend.”

“Just friends?” I had to ask. I'd always wondered...

“Yes!” he affirmed, wide-eyed. “Just friends. I know he's – I mean, not that it's any of my business, but -”

“It's okay. I understand. I'm very fond of Evan myself. Do you want me to talk to him?”

Parrish looked incredibly relieved. “Yes, please.”

And maybe I should have done that, but...

~

Elizabeth, John and I were sitting around the conference table, discussing the repatriation of the Genii patients. Only, the last time one of them had been ready to go home, the Genii who had come to get them had tried to reward their 'collaboration with the enemy' with a big sharp knife. I was lucky we managed to stop him before he'd inflicted a fatal wound. So we were being much more cautious, having security on hand. The next Genii ready to go home was Dahlia Radim. 

“I'd like Major Lorne to do it.”

Elizabeth and John stared at me. “Why?”

I shrugged. “He's got a sister. He's good with people. If Dahlia Radim needs a security detail before she returns home, then I'd like Major Lorne.”

John pursed his lips. “It's below his pay grade. And Lorne probably doesn't like the Genii very much.”

“He's a professional,” I sniffed. “And Dahlia is very nice when you get to know her. I think it would be good for him.”

Elizabeth smiled that little smile. “You're giving him therapy? Does he need it?”

I silenced John's coming outburst with a hand gesture. “I don't really think so, but I'd like to give it a go anyway.”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, all right. Things are quiet for his team at the moment. Assign Lorne to Dahlia Radim on the day of her repatriation. I'll let the Genii know she is almost ready to go home.”

~

Lorne had been wary at first, but after a couple of hours he was smiling and joking with her, clapping when she did well with her physiotherapy.

“You're doing great, Dahlia,” he said.

There was no sign of the Genii escort, though. They were late. I sat at the desk nearby, scribbling notes and glad that I had asked for Lorne to be here.

Aye, he was there to protect her, but he was doing more than that. He was a good man.

“Do you have children, Dahlia?”

She shook her head. “No. I was married, once, but my husband got sick from the radiation and we couldn't have children. Then he died.”

“I am so sorry.”

She was a tough kid. She just nodded. “Thank you. Ladon would have been a wonderful uncle.”

Evan froze. I tried not to stare.

Dahlia just carried on. “And you? Do you have children?”

I saw Evan shake himself back to the conversation. “Uh. No. Too busy in the military, I guess. But my sister has two kids. So that makes me an uncle. I'm very proud to be one.”

She grinned, a rare sight. “You are very fortunate. I am sure you are a very good one. Perhaps one day I will meet someone else and build a family. It is a rare gift for the Genii.”

He nodded, solemn. “You've had to be tough. I understand that. But I've seen how some of you can be kind, too.”

She looked conflicted, wiped away an emotional tear that she fought so hard. “I am sorry for what my people have had to do. None of us deserve the way you have saved us.”

Lorne gave a dismissive shake of his head. “The doc here loves nothing better than removing lung tumors, right doc?” He turned and grinned at me.

“Oh! Er, aye, Major. My favorite pastime.” I gave Dahlia an understanding smile.

Just then my radio squawked at me. The Genii escort for Dahlia had arrived. “And it looks like your lift is here, my dear. Better get those bags ready.”

Lorne snapped into protection mode, straightening his combat gear and slipping into military concentration. It was always fascinating to watch this in John and the others.

It only took a few moments for the infirmary doors to slide open and I glimpsed the dull green and brown of Genii uniform.

“Welcome to my infir-” I hesitated. “Ladon Radim?”

Yes, the leader of the Genii had come himself to collect his sister. I hadn't expected that.

“Dr Beckett. Don't look so shocked. I apologize for being late. Being the leader of my people is somewhat... complicated... but I wanted to come for my sister myself.”

“Of course.”

Ladon entered the infirmary and spotted his sister, but I couldn't help but notice that he very much took in Major Lorne's presence also. Interesting reaction. Very interesting. I'm not a betting man, but I'd say he was rattled. But he seemed pleased as well. Strange.

“Dahlia.” He approached her and held out his arms.

Lorne stopped him. “I'm sorry, Mr Radim, but I need to search you.”

Ladon's eyes grew wide. “I've already been searched, Major.” He lifted his arms. “And I've already apologized for what happened at the last repatriation. You won't get any trouble from me.”

“I'll be the judge of that,” Lorne muttered, and patted Ladon down swiftly, as if he couldn't bear to touch him. “Okay, go ahead.”

Ladon and Dahlia hugged tightly. “I'm so glad you're okay,” Ladon murmured. It was quite sweet.

“I'll always be there for you, little brother,” Dahlia replied, and squeezed him tighter. Even Lorne looked touched.

Ladon kept his arm around Dahlia as he turned to Lorne. “How are you, Evan?”

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows.

Lorne looked nervous. “Better to be home, thank you.”

Ladon cocked his head to one side. “You know I'm sorry about what happened. To you.” This confronting your demons thing was certainly not going the way I expected. 

Lorne shrugged. “Apart from making all my friends think I was dead, you looked after us all right, I suppose. For prisoners.”

“I'm not Cowen, and I was never Kolya,” Ladon said cryptically. “I hope you appreciate that.”

Lorne took a deep breath that I found very telling. “I'm not sure what to think.”

Ladon looked away. “No. Perhaps not.” Then he lifted his chin and addressed me. “Is my sister ready to go, Doctor? Is there anything I need to know?”

I babbled for a few minutes, telling Ladon about her sister's physiotherapy, and providing him with the details of her medication and supplies. Lorne stood broodingly silent beside me, watching Ladon closely.

“And I think that's about it. But remember, any time you need me, you know where I am.” I gave Dahlia a little pat on the arm.

“Thank you, Doctor. Many of us owe you our lives,” she said.

_“Unscheduled offworld activation!”_ shrieked the technician upstairs over citywide comms. We all froze.

Ladon smiled sweetly. “More visitors? Perhaps we won't be leaving just yet.”

Lorne just growled.

~ ~ ~

Ladon was correct. As he so often was, Lorne decided. 

Some trouble with Eddington's team led to all 'gate travel being suspended, and Ladon and Dahlia found themselves facing another night in Atlantis.

Carson wanted Dahlia to rest in the infirmary for one more night, and suggested Lorne find Ladon somewhere to stay and to keep the guest occupied if required.

If Lorne didn't know better, he'd have thought Carson was up to something. But how could he know?

“I'll take you to guest quarters where you will be confined until we can send you home,” Lorne said stiffly.

“Am I a prisoner, Evan?” Ladon asked airily.

“Of course not,” muttered Lorne as if it pained him. “It is for your own safety.”

“I'm touched,” Ladon replied, with an obvious sliver of sarcasm. 

Lorne guided Ladon through the broad, bright corridors of Atlantis, so different to Ladon's Genii settlements. Finally he paused beside a tall set of doors.

“I think you'll find everything you need here,” Lorne monotoned, touching the panel on the wall to make the doors slide open.

“Does that mean you're going to keep me company?” Ladon asked quietly, standing a little too close to Lorne for comfort.

Lorne was stunned for a moment, couldn't think of a reply. He wanted to look away from Ladon, but couldn't even do that. 

“We should talk about this,” Ladon said softly. 

Lorne finally glanced up and down the corridor, irrationally worried that anyone would see them together like this. Since he'd first met Ladon, he'd wanted this opportunity, but he was also afraid. And Evan Lorne had never let fear control him.

“Yes, all right.” Lorne gestured for Ladon to enter the quarters, and he followed the Genii leader inside and the door slid closed behind them.

Lorne had never believed in love at first sight. His sister had always said that she'd known as soon as she'd met her husband that he would be the one, but he hadn't ever thought it really worked like that. He'd always known he was attracted to men, and he knew what he liked, but he'd never met someone he'd felt any kind of instant connection with, someone he couldn't get out of his head after he'd met them. 

Until he'd met Ladon Radim.

Ladon sat down on the bed and looked up at Lorne. It was as if he could read Evan's mind. “On my homeworld, we call it 'the bonding gaze'. A rather strange cliché, and not one I ever expected to experience. But we did, didn't we?” He was kind, his words patient and even apologetic. It was the first time either of them had expressed out loud what they had clearly both experienced.

Lorne nodded slowly. “Maybe. I think... I think I felt it too. We call it – love at first sight.”

Ladon smiled from his eyes. “That works very well. Though I'm not sure I know what love is.”

Lorne felt that connection even more keenly. “Yeah, me either.” He sat down on the bed, not too close, but close enough to look into those blue, intelligent eyes. “I wanted to just forget about what happened. You have to know, I don't really want this. But I can't forget it.”

If you're going to meet someone you think you like – really like – and can't get them out of your mind, being their captive isn't a great start.

Ladon raised his eyebrows. “It was very confusing for me. I held you prisoner. I could have killed you all. But when I met you, my purpose in life shattered in an instant.” He reached out a hand towards Lorne, but stared at his fingers and held them back. “I just wanted to talk to you, but I had to finish the job. It took all my skill to find a way to let you return home. I could only hope that our paths would cross again so we could do... this.”

Lorne slid his hand across the bed and let his fingers brush Ladon's. There were no fireworks, no spark of magic. Just a warm, rough sensation that finally, _finally_ they were together. “I didn't think I would fall for an evil dictator, for one thing.”

Ladon held his breath for a moment. “Please don't hold these things against me. I am trying to take my people to a place where they aren't at war with everyone and everything.”

Lorne nodded. “I know. I'm sorry.” And he was. “Also, there's a condition we know in prisoners, it's called Stockholm syndrome...”

“Do captives come to care for their imprisoner?”

Lorne nodded. “What if...?”

Ladon shook his head. “I know this behavior. I have even tried to create it in my prisoners, in the past, for which I apologize. This is not you. We knew there was something between us before we even spoke.”

Lorne had to concede this was true. “And yet...” He let his hand slide up Ladon's arm and over the slight shoulder drawing his fingers over Ladon's stubble and cupping his cheek. “I hardly know you, really.”

And it didn't seem to matter as Ladon leaned in, and they were bringing their lips together, tentative at first, the kiss slow and cautious. But now there were fireworks. Now Lorne could feel the electricity between them. He'd never felt anything like it in his life, and he wanted more. He sensed that Ladon felt the same way because he moaned softly into Lorne's mouth and pressed closer, his hand on Lorne's cheek keeping them drawn together.

They only parted when Lorne thought he might die without oxygen, which felt strange because his only thought was that he only needed Ladon to live. Love – or was it lust – was destroying his judgement. He still clung to Ladon like a drowning man, seeking confirmation in those eyes.

Ladon grinned at him. “Do you feel like you are going mad, too?”

Lorne nodded, the smile on his own face widening.

Ladon laughed. “A bonding gaze destroys the brain, that's what we say. But you are too clever to be seduced by it, Evan.”

“I'm not so sure about that.” Lorne took Ladon's hand and pulled him to sit on the bed. “There is very little I wouldn't do for you right now.”

Ladon nodded slowly, his face flushed and full of desire. “What is happening between us will not change your loyalty to this city and your people. You are no fool.”

Lorne leaned over him and kissed Ladon again. “True. But they're not the kind of things I was thinking about.”

Ladon's eyes grew wide. “Major Lorne. Are you saying you want me?”

Lorne took a steadying breath. “What do you want, Ladon?”

The Genii leader took a moment, his gaze traveling over Lorne's face, his lips. “I want many things, Evan. For my people. But for me, all I want is you. I want to know you. I want to touch you. I want to make love to you.”

“I think I can help with some of that,” Evan breathed, as he moved towards Ladon.

It seemed right that they got to know each other more intimately, as well as intellectually. Evan decided that he'd managed both to an impressive degree, by the time the early light began to filter through the colored window panes.

~ ~ ~

Elizabeth smiled as she approached me in the corridor. “Carson! How did Lorne's therapy go?”

I nearly blushed. I remembered Lorne and Radim wandering into the Infirmary the day after the lockdown, all shy smiles and touches. Oh, aye, they thought they were being discreet, but I am a doctor.

“Well, Elizabeth, I can safely say that Major Lorne is not afraid of the Genii any more.”

~


End file.
